


A Bot's Beautiful Mess

by everythingsace



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dum-E is also Perfect™, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Rhodey is Perfect™, This is another fluffy one!!, and i love him, as are tony and all the bots, go me!, russian translation is now available! (which is really cool!!!)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 04:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14992910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingsace/pseuds/everythingsace
Summary: Dum-E halts. In Other-Dad-Rhodey’s hand is… a box. It is a small, velvet box.Dum-E knows what this means. The bot has seen the movies and shows. He knows what this is.The bot screams.(Or: Rhodey asks Dum-E to assist him in proposing to Tony. Dum-E does his best.)





	A Bot's Beautiful Mess

**Author's Note:**

> This fic now has a Russian translation thanks to @chocolatementalitytriumph on tumblr!!! Located here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/7144859

Dum-E spin around at the sound of the workshop door opening. He already has a rag in hand to start waving, because Dad-Tony is not supposed to be awake yet! Dum-E is ready to scold.

Oh! It’ not Dad-Tony; it’s Other-Dad-Rhodey. Dum-E drops the washcloth, rolling up to him. He trills, tilting his camera. What is Other-Dad-Rhodey doing here? Dad-Tony said that he isn’t supposed to be back for two weeks!

 _“Dum-E asks why you have arrived early, Colonel Rhodes,”_ JARVIS says. Dum-E’s strut drops just a little, irritated by his younger brother’s incorrect title for Other-Dad-Rhodey. “Sorry--” JARVIS amends, sounding amused-- “-- _second sir._ ” Dum-E gives a small beep of approval.

Other-Dad-Rhodey grins. “Are you disappointed, Dum-E?” he asks, already stepping over a crowbar on the floor to give Dum-E a pat.

Dum-E preens at the touch, even as he gives a hurried whine of denial.

Other-Dad-Rhodey smiles. “I’m glad. Because I got a replacement for your last stress ball, after U ruined the last one,” he says, pulling said ball out of his back pocket.

U gives an indignant click, while Dum-E gives a loud shriek, spinning around and around. Other-Dad-Rhodey laughs. “I thought you might like it,” he says, giving it a toss through the air. Dum-E chases after it, clanking around workbenches without a second thought.

U and Butterfingers quickly join Other-Dad-Rhodey, even though they haven’t finished their charge. Dum-E would give a sigh if he could. Instead, he tuts at them, picking up his ball and returning to them. He gives another hum, turning his camera towards his second father-figure again.

 _“Dum-E reminds you that you have not answered his question, second sir,”_ JARVIS translates. It is not often that Dum-E is thankful for his annoying siblings, but there are perks.

“Right, right,” Other-Dad-Rhodey says, sitting down on one of the lab stools. “I thought I’d give him a little surprise. That okay with you guys?”

All three bots whistled positively. Dad-Tony always deserves happy surprises! And Dad-Tony is always happy to see Other-Dad-Rhodey. They like to smile and hug and kiss each other. There is a lot of kissing.

Dum-E spins around Other-Dad-Rhodey, before stopping at his back. Other-Dad-Rhodey is sitting oddly. He is leaning to his left. Dum-E hums and whirls back around. He gives a concerned series of clicks.

 _“Second sir… Dum-E has noticed your weight is shifted to the left. Are you injured?”_ JARVIS asks, and once again, Dum-E appreciates the translation.

Other-Dad-Rhodey smirks a little. “Can’t get anything past you, Dum-E, can I?” he asked, before reaching into his back pocket. (Dum-E wishes _he_ had pockets. He could fit so many bolts!)

Butterfingers and U immediately crowded around Other-Dad-Rhodey, blocking Dum-E’s view. Ugh. Dum-E gives an annoyed whir, trying to bumble past them. When the other bots start _shrieking,_ he gets even more irritated. What is it?

_“Oh… Oh, my. U, Butterfingers, back up so Dum-E can see.”_

Dum-E’s siblings give reluctant beeps, but they follow JARVIS’s instructions. Once they’ve moved back enough, Dum-E rolls forward. What could possibly be so interesting that they reacted that way? There can’t be--

Dum-E halts. In Other-Dad-Rhodey’s hand is… a box. It is a small, velvet box.

Dum-E knows what this means. The bot has seen the movies and shows. He knows what this is.

The bot screams.

Other-Dad-Rhodey laughs, before he puts a finger to his lips. “Shh, you don’t want to wake up Tones, do you?” he asks, still chuckling.

Dum-E lowers his volumes, but he doesn’t stop clicking. It is a small box! That means there is a ring inside! That’s the surprise for Dad-Tony!

Dum-E knows he must be quiet, so instead he lets his excitement shine through his revolutions around Other-Dad-Rhodey, buzzing quietly as he makes loop after loop.

Other-Dad-Rhodey is still grinning when the bots finally calm down. “I was hoping you’d all approve. Does that mean you all give your blessings?”

“There is no one I would trust with sir more,” JARVIS says, and beside Dum-E, U and Butterfingers chatter their approval.

Other-Dad-Rhodey smiles, before he turns to Dum-E. His grin softens minutely. “Dum-E? What do you think?” he asks, and Dum-E thinks.

Dum-E thinks of Other-Dad-Rhodey’s face right next to Dad-Tony’s staring at him when he wakes up for the first time.

Dum-E thinks of late nights at MIT, when Dad-Tony was making adjustments to his code, so Other-Dad-Rhodey was tossing him a rubber ball to play.

Dum-E thinks of Dad-Tony coming into the dorm, and later, apartment, looking pale with the exception of a circle of purple around his eye. Dum-E remembers Other-Dad-Rhodey running over with an ice pack, speaking in hushed tones until Dad-Tony eventually falls asleep.

Dum-E thinks of later, while Dad-Tony is asleep, Other-Dad-Rhodey swearing under his breath and storming out of the room with curled fists, cursing Evil-Howard’s name.

Dum-E thinks of Other-Dad-Rhodey, pulling Dad-Tony under his arm into the workshop for the first time in three months.

Dum-E loves Dad-Tony, and he loves Other-Dad-Rhodey. And they love each other. They kiss, they hold each other, and they look at each other stupidly.

They’re Tony and Rhodey. Dum-E certainly isn’t going to get in the way of that.

Dum-E looks at Other-Dad-Rhodey. The man is looking at him, not expectantly-- but patiently, happily. He genuinely loves Dum-E, too.

Dum-E sings, moving his arm up and down, in a roaring demonstration of approval, because _of course._ His dads belong together, after all.

Dum-E rumbles forward and nuzzles the joint of his claw into Other-Dad-Rhodey’s chest. Other-Dad-Rhodey’s body shakes, and when Dum-E tilts his claw away and up, he can see that his dad is smiling widely. He’s laughing, but it isn’t from anything funny. He’s just happy.

“Thanks, Dum-E,” he says, wrinkles in his cheeks. “You know I can’t wait. I can’t wait to see his face. I just want it to be perfect, you know?”

Dum-E trills, nodding his arm up and down. It will be perfect, it will be absolutely perfect! Dum-E can not wait! Oh, oh!

Dum-E speeds across the workshop, to the smoothie corner. He grabs a clawful of napkins (he tends to make messes), not even trying to be delicate. He rolls back over, holding his napkins. Other-Dad-Rhodey is still smiling, but he’s got a confused look on his face now. “What are you--”

Dum-E very carefully places an unfolded napkin on his dad’s head.

 _“Oh, Dum-E,”_ JARVIS says, sounding fond.

Other-Dad-Rhodey bursts into laughter once again. “JARVIS,” he says in between breaths, and he doesn’t even need to add anything else before DUM-E’s little brother says, _“I’ve captured the image already, second sir.”_

Their dad simply adjusts the napkin so it’s no longer falling off his face, using his other hand to grip the velvet box tightly.

“Dum-E, I’ve got a request for you,” he says, and the bot inches closer, intrigued. Does he have a mission like Dad-Tony? Other-Dad Rhodey smiles. “I need you to hold onto this for me. I wanna go surprise Tony in bed, but I don’t want to give him the ring just yet. I’m waiting for the perfect moment. Can you hold onto the ring for tonight, so I don’t have to hide it in his room?”

Dum-E quickly nods his arm. Of course! Dum-e opens his claw, waiting to grab the box. This is the _most important mission._ He will do this job _perfectly._

Other-Dad-Rhodey opens his hand, and Dum-E delicately lifts the velvet box. Dum-E quickly zips through the workshop to find a good place to hide it. He hears Other-Dad-Rhodey start talking to his brothers and sister, while he finds the shelves full of fasteners.

There are crates upon crates full of different metal bits-- the ring will fit right in!

Dum-E carefully sets down the box on top of the sea of screws. He readjusts his grip so he can lift the lid. It doesn’t give very easily, so he shakes it up and down. He gives a low click, growing frustrated as it refuses to give. It should be opening! He gives a very solid swing, and finally it gives. In seconds, a gold ring flies from the box, dropping into the crate.

Oh, Dum-E thought it would be silver! Oh, well. He’ll just bury it under the screws. He shuts his claw and digs it into the fasteners, and they make a twinkling noise as they move.

“Dum-E, what’s that-- oh. Did you just--?” Other-Dad-Rhodey says, and Dum-E turns to see him walking over. His eyebrows are furrowed, but he’s still grinning. He covers his mouth with his hand. “Did you just… bury the ring in there?” he asks.  

Dum-E nods his arm.

Other-Dad-Rhodey drops his hand, shakes his head, and chuckles. He walks over, patting Dum-E on his strut. “Thanks, buddy, but I do need to find it later,” he says. “I really appreciate it, though.”

He plunges his hand into the screws, and Dum-E gives a series of aggravated clicks. What’s wrong with this? It’ll be easy to find! It’s not even the same color.

Dum-E nudges Other-Dad-Rhodey’s hand out of the way, earning a “Dum-E, c’mon.” Dum-E simply shoves his dad away, clicking irritably. He can _do_ it, if he’s gonna be so whiny about it. Dum-E drops his claw in, the metal falling back in between the prongs.

Okay. Maybe Other-Dad-Rhodey has a point.

Dum-E moves aside, whirring quietly, watching Other-Dad-Rhodey start digging through the crate. “Thanks for the help, Dum-E, there was just a little misinterpreting there. I think--”

“What the hell is happening down here? The last time I heard you guys being so loud, Butterfingers had knocked over a suit, what-- Honeybear!” The next thing Dum-E sees is a grey blur as a pajama-clad Dad-Tony tackles Other-Dad-Rhodey.

Other-Dad-Rhodey laughs. “Dammit, Tones, you gotta ruin all my surprises, huh?” he says, rocking back and forth as Dad-Tony practically hangs around his neck.  

“In my defense, I didn’t know there was a surprise! I thought the bots had made a mess!” he argues, and then yes, there are all of those kisses.

Dum-E figures Dad-Tony is suitably distracted, so he begins digging again.

However, apparently the noise draws Dad-Tony’s attention again, because then he’s turning towards him and asking, “What’re you doing? You lose something?”

Dum-E freezes, looking over at Other-Dad-Rhodey.

Other-Dad-Rhodey shakes his head.

Dad-Tony tilts his head up at his boyfriend. “You lost something? Is it your phone?” His hand automatically slides into Other-Dad-Rhodey’s back pocket. “No, you’ve got it. And your wallet. What’d you lose?”

“Nothing,” the colonel insists. “Dum-E just lost the new stress ball I got him.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, he’s gonna start hitting me in the face again,” Dum-E’s creator whined.

“Isn’t that the goal?”

Dad-Tony smacks the other man in the chest. “Shut the hell up.” He then pecks another kiss to Other-Dad-Rhodey’s cheek. “Might stop him from shooting me with the extinguisher as much, though, so thank you.”

“Damn it, I didn’t think of that.” He earns another swat.

Dad-Tony looks back over at Dum-E. “You need any help, buddy?” he asks, and he’s already walking over by the time he finishes his sentence.

Dum-E gives a panicked series of beeps, rolling over and pushing back at his creator.

Dad-Tony looks confused, placing a hand on Dum-E’s strut for balance. “Whoa, what’s up? You okay? You know I don’t really care you hit me with the ball, yeah?”

Ugh, Dad-Tony, that is _so_ not the issue. Dum-E clicks dismissively, pushing forward.

 _“Dum-E insists he finds it himself, sir,”_ JARVIS says, and yes! Thank you, JARVIS! That’s perfect.

“Stubborn idiot,” Dad-Tony says, shaking his head, but he lets Dum-E be.

“I wonder where he gets that from,” Other-Dad-Rhodey says, looking at Dad-Tony pointedly.

Dum-E trusts Other-Dad-Rhodey to distract Dad-Tony, so he begins digging again. Just like before, the screws sink back into the space between Dum-E’s claw. Dum-E huffs, before beginning to simply take the screws out of the crate. If he opens and shuts his claw fast enough, he can catch a few at a time.

It’s still painstakingly slow, but listening to his dads makes the time go faster.

“So what’s War Machine up to, hm?”

“Tones, you _know_ it’s Iron Patriot now.”

“Uh, maybe, but we can ignore that, because it’s stupid.”

Other-Dad-Rhodey laughs. “Sure, fine. You up for dinner tomorrow?”

“Of course. You wanna go to that one Mexican place we went to last time?”

“The place with the fried ice cream? Hell, yeah.”

“Perfect.”

Dum-E ignores them when they start kissing again. He’s happy that they love each other and all, but he has seen enough kisses.

Dum-E wonders if they’re distracted enough.

After a couple minutes, they’re _still_ kissing and whispering to each other, so Dum-E figures he can go for it.

JARVIS seems to sense this, because he says, _“Dum-E, no--”_ but it’s too late. The entire box of screws crashes to the floor, hitting Dum-E’s chassis on the way down. Every little metal piece spills onto the floor, creating a horrible cacophony that has Dad-Tony and Other-Dad-Rhodey springing apart.

“What the _hell--?”_

“Dum-E!”

Other-Dad-Rhodey has all but sprinted to Dum-E’s side, searching the floor frantically. “Where is-- Dum-E, _why--”_

“I guess he’s efficient,” Dad-Tony sighs, wandering over. Butterfingers rolls forward to stop him, but she first comes to the metal mess, and by the time she’s worked her way to navigate around it, he’s already there.

He frowns, squinting as he puts his hands on his hips. “You sure the ball’s over here? I don’t--”

Dum-E spots the gold color of the ring. He chirps excitedly, just happy that he’s found it, and he extends his claw to pick up. He immediately spins to Other-Dad-Rhodey, holding it up victoriously. See? He could do it!

Except… Other-Dad-Rhodey is frozen, staring with wide eyes-- that aren’t looking at the ring.

Oh, no.

Oh, _no._

Dum-E slowly turns towards Dad-Tony.

He is also frozen, his hands still on his waist. His lips are moving, but no words are coming out. Just short, aborted noises that barely make it out. He’s staring, absolutely dumbstruck, at the ring in Dum-E’s claw.

Dum-E gives a single, very low, apologetic beep.

Dad-Tony clears his throat. “Is that-- a--?” He raises a hand suddenly, and he uses it to rub his eye, then rub his other eye, then push against the side of his face. He continues to squint at the ring, his sentence obviously forgotten. “I must be dreaming, right?” he finally says, his hand still not leaving his cheek.

“Uh,” Other-Dad-Rhodey says, his voice shaking, and Dum-E spins to look at him instead. “No, actually.”

“Oh.”

Dad-Tony does not look away from the ring.

Other-Dad-Rhodey does not look away from Dad-Tony.

Oh, good grief, Dum-E thinks, before nudges Other-Dad-Rhodey’s hand until he opens it. Dum-E easily deposits the ring, hits him in the shoulder with his claw, and moves to the side.

It seems to spur Other-Dad-Rhodey’s brain into action-- at least a little bit. He stumbles forward, holding the ring in a hand that Dum-E has never seen shake until now. “So, um-- this is not. It’s not the moment I wanted it to be, but…”

“I’m not dreaming?” Dad-Tony says again. “Really?”

Other-Dad-Rhodey lets out a hysterical laugh. “No, you’re not. I-- God, this isn’t what I was planning at all. I was gonna do a fancy dinner, or maybe take you on a trip down to MIT, or--”

“Are you sure? This feels a lot like a dream,” Dad-Tony interrupts, his voice shaking, and Dum-E would give an exasperated trill if this wasn’t such an important thing. “I don’t--” He cuts himself off, but Dum-E knows enough about Dad-Tony to know how the sentence ends.

Other-Dad-Rhodey seems to finally gain some control, as he gives Dad-Tony a smile, and Dum-E can tell it’s a sad one. The colonel steps forward, using the hand that isn’t holding the ring to grab one of Dad-Tony’s. “You do deserve this, Tones. You _do_ , and I want it. I love you, I love you so damn much, and I want this.”

He pauses, before he takes a deep breath, and lowers himself to one knee. Dad-Tony inhales, and the noise is sharp. Other-Dad-Rhodey opens his mouth, presumably to ask the Question--

Dad-Tony all but throws himself at his boyfriend, his arms flinging around his neck. “Oh, my _God,”_ he whispers.

Other-Dad-Rhodey laughs, steadying the both of them. “Tony--” he says, smiling like he can’t stop.

“Holy shit.”

“Tony--”

“Oh, my God, give me the ring,” Dad-Tony says, smiling and reaching for it, but Other-Dad-Rhodey just pulls it out of his reach, laughing.

“I will as soon as you let me ask the stupid question!” he says, appeasing Dad-Tony with a quick kiss. When he pulls back, he squeezes his hand. “Tony, will you do me the honor of being my husba--”

“Fuck, yes, yes,” Dad-Tony exclaims, before flinging himself again. Other-Dad-Rhodey-- Dad-Tony’s _fiancé--_ leans back before pulling them both back up, laughing, and they’re kissing again. Well, they’re trying to kiss, but they’re both smiling too much to actually really be doing it. That doesn’t stop them, though.

Other-Dad-Rhodey is still on one knee, and the hand with the ring is curled behind Dad-Tony’s head, the other wrapped around his waist. Dad-Tony’s hands are interlaced around Other-Dad-Rhodey’s neck. They’re giggling and grinning, managing to get in a few pecks every once in a while before breaking again.

Finally, they pull away just long enough for Other-Dad-Rhodey to put his hand, the one holding the ring, between them, and they’re _still_ laughing, and Dum-E is so, so _happy._

Dad-Tony holds out his left hand, and it’s shaking so much, but it’s clear they couldn’t care less, because then Other-Dad-Rhodey slips the ring onto his finger, and then they’re kissing again.

This is the best moment of Dum-E’s entire existence, and he realizes that it’s time to _celebrate._

That means only one thing.

And just minutes later, as Dad-Tony and Other-Dad-Rhodey are smiling stupidly at each other and laughing, even as they wipe fire extinguisher foam off their faces, Dum-E thinks that it might not have be what Other-Dad-Rhodey had planned, but it’s pretty perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! This was a fun fic, and Dum-E is the best character in the entire MCU. I love him.
> 
> Kudos + comments are appreciated-- if you noticed any errors, let me know!
> 
> My tumblr is tonystarkreactor, if you're interested.


End file.
